The Graduate Read online

  “Oh,” Benjamin said. He hurried back across the sidewalk and reached into his pocket for some money. He handed several dollar bills to the man, who took them and crumpled them in his free hand. “Is that a college trick?” he said.

  “What?”

  “Drink up and walk out? Is that a college trick?”

  “No. I’m sorry.” He turned around and walked back to Elaine.

  “What are you doing here,” she said.

  “What?”

  “What are you doing in Berkeley.”

  “Oh,” Benjamin said. “Well I’m living here. Temporarily.”

  Elaine frowned at him a moment longer, then looked down the street.

  “Waiting for a bus?” Benjamin said.

  She nodded without looking at him.

  “Well,” Benjamin said. “Where—where might you be going.”

  “The city,” she said.

  Benjamin leaned forward and looked down the street. Several blocks away through the rain was the bus. “I might—I might ride in with you,” he said. “If you—if you wouldn’t mind too much.”

  “Hey!”

  The man from the restaurant was standing outside again holding the menu over his head. “Your change,” he said.

  Benjamin smiled at him and nodded. “Keep it,” he called.

  “What?”

  “You can have it.”

  The man stood frowning at him and holding out the change in one of his hands. Finally Benjamin hurried back across the sidewalk and the man dropped the money into his hand.

  “Thank you,” Benjamin said. He put the change in his pocket and returned to the other side of the sidewalk to wait quietly beside Elaine until the bus moved in beside the curb and opened its doors.

  It was crowded, so they could not sit together. Elaine chose a seat near the center next to an old woman holding a closed umbrella in her lap and Benjamin walked past her and wedged himself in between two old men on the broad seat in the rear of the bus.

  On the other side of the long bridge spanning the bay the bus moved quickly down a causeway and into a terminal. Benjamin stood and followed Elaine out the front door and onto a platform.

  “Well,” he said, walking beside her along a ramp leading into the main part of the terminal. “Where might you be headed from here.”

  “What?”

  “I say where are you headed from here.”

  “I’m meeting someone,” she said.

  “A date?”

  “Yes.”

  Benjamin stopped to avoid colliding with a man coming the other way, then dodged around him and caught up with Elaine again.

  “Right here?” he said, pointing down in front of him.

  “What?”

  “You’re meeting him right here in the terminal?”

  “No.”

  “Where,” he said, hurrying to keep up with her.

  “What?”

  “I say where are you meeting him.”

  “At the zoo,” she said.

  “The zoo,” Benjamin said. He cleared his throat. “They have a pretty good one here, do they?”

  “I’ve never been to it.”

  “Oh,” Benjamin said. “Well. I haven’t either. I might … I might just ride out there with you. Keep you company on the ride.”

  They waited quietly on another platform for the bus to the zoo. Benjamin stood with his hands in his pockets, squinting up at the rain and sometimes leaning forward and craning his head around the others on the platform to look for the bus. When it came he followed Elaine on and walked back with her to a free seat. She sat and removed the plastic hat to hold in her lap. Benjamin sat beside her.

  “It’s not—it’s not much of a day for the zoo,” he said, smiling.

  “No, it’s not,” she said. She turned her head to look out through the wet glass of the window.

  They rode without talking for several stops. Benjamin sat looking down at the seat in front of him and Elaine sat with her head turned toward the window looking out at the buildings they were passing and at the rain. Finally she turned back to him.

  “What are you doing here,” she said.

  “Where.”

  “In Berkeley. Why are you living in Berkeley.”

  “Oh,” Benjamin said, nodding. “Well I’m just living there temporarily.”

  “Are you going to school?”

  “No.”

  “Then what’s your reason.”

  “For living there?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well,” Benjamin said. “My reason.” He looked again at the seat in front of him. “Well I’m—it’s—I’m very interested to know what it’s like to live there. It’s an interesting place to live.”

  “Are you working?”

  “No,” Benjamin said. “I sold my car. I’m able to live on that.”

  “But what do you do.”

  “Different things,” he said. “I do different things.”

  “What different things.”

  “Well,” Benjamin said. “I’ve gone to a few classes. I’ve sat in on a few classes at the university.”

  “But you aren’t enrolled.”

  “No,” Benjamin said. “I’m not. But I enjoy—they have some very fine professors here. There.”

  Elaine waited a moment, then turned back to the window. Benjamin looked down into his lap.

  “It’s sure a wet day for the zoo,” he said.

  When they got there Benjamin followed her out the back door of the bus and into the entrance of the zoo. There were very few visitors. The black asphalt walks around the cages were glistening from the rain and most of the animals were out of sight.

  “Well,” Benjamin said, stopping with her just inside the entrance. “What time were you supposed to meet him.”

  “He should be here.”

  They were standing next to a cage with a large bird inside it that was sleeping on a perch up under the roof of the cage. Benjamin turned around to look up at it a moment, then began nodding and turned back to Elaine.

  “Well,” he said. “He’s a little late, is he.”

  “What?”

  “I say your date’s a little late. Maybe the rain held him up.”

  When the date arrived he walked briskly in through the entrance of the zoo wearing a light tan raincoat and carrying a pipe in his hand by its bowl.

  “Is that him?” Benjamin said.

  Elaine turned, then smiled and walked forward to meet him. He put the stem of his pipe between his teeth and held out both hands for her to take. Benjamin followed after her and stopped several feet behind them. The date remained smiling at Elaine a few moments, then glanced up over her shoulder and raised his eyebrows. Benjamin nodded to him and smiled.

  Elaine stepped aside. “This is Benjamin Braddock,” she said. “He rode here with me on the bus. Carl Smith.”

  “Ben?” Carl said, holding out his hand.

  “It’s good to meet you, Carl,” Benjamin said, stepping forward to shake it.

  Carl released his hand and turned back to Elaine. “I’m afraid it’s a bit wet for animals,” he said.

  Benjamin nodded. Then he glanced up into the sky. When he looked down Carl had put his arm around Elaine’s back and was leading her back up toward the entrance.

  “Well,” Benjamin said after them. “Good to see you. Have a good time.”

  “Real good to see you, Ben,” Carl said removing the pipe from his mouth a second and gesturing with it up in the air.

  “Thank you,” Benjamin said.

  He watched them turn out the entrance and disappear. Then he pushed his hands back down into his pockets and walked slowly around the zoo. He stopped and stood a long time in the rain staring at the hippopotamus, then bought a bag of peanuts to eat as he rode the bus back to the terminal.

  Twice during the next week he passed her on the street but each time they were on the opposite side, and he only smiled and waved at her and didn’t say anything. Then one morning he passed h
er and she stopped. She said something he couldn’t hear.

  “Just a minute,” Benjamin said.

  He stepped down off the curb and found his way across the street through a row of cars backed up for a stop light.

  “Hi,” he said, smiling at her.

  “I want to talk to you,” she said.

  Benjamin nodded. “Fine,” he said.

  “Where do you live.”

  “Well,” Benjamin said. “Right on this street, as a matter of fact.” He pointed down the sidewalk.

  “What number.”

  “Four hundred and eight.”

  “Will you be there this afternoon?”

  “Yes. Yes I will.”

  “I’ll come by,” she said.

  Benjamin nodded. “Well,” he said, “I hope I’m there.”

  She frowned at him. “Will you be there or not,” she said.

  “Yes,” Benjamin said. “I will. Definitely.”

  She arrived at his rooming house in the middle of the afternoon. When she knocked on his door Benjamin was at his desk reading a paperback book he had bought just after seeing her. He laid the book face-down on his desk and walked quickly across the room to the door. Then he waited a moment, cleared his throat and pulled the door open.

  “Elaine,” he said. “Well. Come in.”

  “No.”

  “What?”

  “I want to ask you a question,” she said. “Then I’m going.”

  “Well,” he said. “I hope—I hope I can answer it.”

  “You can.”

  “What is it,” he said.

  “Benjamin, why are you here.”

  “What?”

  “I want you to tell me why you’re here in Berkeley,” she said, stepping part way in through the doorway.

  Benjamin smiled. “Well Elaine?”

  “Can you tell me that?”

  “Well Elaine?” he said again. “I mean—I mean I thought I did. Didn’t I?”

  “You didn’t.”

  “But could you come in, please?”

  “?o.”

  “You couldn’t come in the room?”

  “I don’t want to see you,” she said. “I don’t want to be in the room with you. Now why are you here.”

  Benjamin turned halfway around and began shaking his head. “Elaine?” he said.

  “Tell me.”

  “But Elaine?” he said, holding his hands up beside himself. “I mean won’t you come in the room?”

  “I don’t trust you,” she said.

  “You don’t?”

  “Why are you here.”

  “Because I am!” he said, throwing his hands down beside, him but still not looking at her.

  “Is it because I’m here?”

  “What?”

  “Did you move up here because I was here?”

  He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it and began shaking his head again.

  “Did you?”

  “I don’t know!” he said.

  “You don’t know why you moved up here.”

  “Would you come in, please?”

  “Benjamin,” she said, taking another step into the room, “I want you to answer yes or no. Did you move up here because I was here or not.”

  Benjamin turned around to his desk.

  “Did you?”

  “What do you think!” he said, clenching his fists beside him and then raising them up over his head.

  “I think you did.”

  “All right then!” he said. He slammed his fists down on the desk.

  Elaine stood just inside the doorway looking at the back of his head. “Well, you can go now,” she said.

  “What?”

  “I want you to leave now,” she said.

  “Leave?”

  “Leave this town,” she said. “Leave me alone and leave this town.”

  He turned around.

  “Benjamin?” she said, staring into his eyes. “You are the one person I don’t ever want to see again.”

  He put his hands up over his face.

  “Promise me you’ll be gone in the morning.”

  “But Elaine?”

  “Promise me.”

  He removed his hands from in front of his face to stare at her a moment, then turned around and slammed them down on the top of the desk. “All right!”

  “Promise me you will.”

  “All right! All right! All right!”

  Elaine shook her head and watched him as he stood leaning over his desk.

  “Elaine?”

  She didn’t answer.

  Benjamin sat down suddenly in the chair in front of his desk and put his face down into his arms. “Elaine?” he said again.

  “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “Elaine!” he yelled into his arms. “I love you!”

  It was perfectly quiet. Elaine stood a few moments longer watching his back and the back of his neck and then walked slowly to the center of the room and stopped. “How could you do that,” she said quietly.

  He didn’t take his head up from his arms.

  “How could you do that!” she said.

  He didn’t answer.

  “How could you possibly rape my …” She put her hands up over her face.

  Benjamin lifted his head slowly up from his arms and frowned at a point on the desk in front of him. “What?” he said.

  “Do you just hate everything?” she said quietly into her hands.

  He rose slowly from the chair and turned toward her. “Rape her?” he said.

  She lowered her hands enough to look at him over the top of her fingers. She was crying.

  “Did you say rape her?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “No,” Benjamin said. He took a step toward her but she stepped backward. “No,” he said again.

  Elaine cleared her throat and then wiped one of her eyes.

  “What did she say,” Benjamin said.

  She looked up at him but didn’t answer.

  “What did she tell you!”

  Still she didn’t answer.

  “What!”

  She looked at him a few more moments, then turned around. “I want you out of here in the morning,” she said.

  “No!” Benjamin said. He ran between Elaine and the door.

  “Don’t you touch me.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Then get away from the door.”

  “Elaine,” he said. “I swear to God I won’t touch you. But please. Please tell me what she said.”

  “Why.”

  “Because it isn’t true!”

  “Is it true you slept with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right then. Get away from the door.”

  “Elaine?”

  “She told me you dragged her up in the hotel room and got her passed out and then raped her.”

  “Oh no.”

  “Now I want to go.”

  “Dragged her up?” he said. She stared at him but didn’t answer. “She said I dragged her up there?”

  “She said you took her up there but she was drunk and didn’t know what was happening.”

  “At the Taft?”

  “That’s right.”

  “But could you tell me a little more about what she said?”

  “Why.”

  “Elaine, I’m leaving in the morning. I give you my word. But this is something I have got to know.”

  Elaine waited a few moments, then cleared her throat. “I’ll tell you, then I’ll go,” she said.

  “Yes.”

  Again she cleared her throat. “She said she was having a drink in the hotel with a friend. You saw her in there.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Benjamin, please get away from the door.”

  “What else.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Please,” he said.

  “When she came out you were waiting for her in the parking lot.”

>   “Oh my God.”

  “Then you … you stopped her from getting into the car and said she was too drunk to drive home. Benjamin, I want to go now.”

  “Then what.”

  “You said … you said you’d get her a room for the night. You took her up to it and ordered drinks until she passed out. Then in the morning you—” Elaine shook her head. “Let me out, Benjamin.”

  “In the morning,” he said.

  “In the morning you told her she was having an affair with you.”

  “Elaine.”

  “Now let me out.”

  “Elaine, that makes me sick.”

  “Let me go, please,” Elaine said. She cleared her throat and wiped one of her eyes.

  “Elaine, that’s not what happened. What happened was there was this party.”

  “I don’t want to hear this.”

  “My parents gave me this party when I came home from college. I drove your mother home from it.”

  “I don’t want to hear this, I said.”

  “Elaine, it’s the truth.”

  “I don’t care,” she said. She took a step toward the door. “Please move,” she said.

  Benjamin waited a moment but didn’t move away from the door. “I drove her home from the party, Elaine.”

  “Please, may I go now.”

  “Then we went upstairs to see your portrait. When we got up there—when we got up in the room she started taking her clothes off.”

  “Benjamin, this is my mother!”

  “Then I went downstairs to get her purse. I took it back up. Then I put it on the bed and was walking out and she came walking in. Without any clothes on. She came—”

  Suddenly Elaine screamed.

  Benjamin stared at her till she was finished screaming and then continued to stare at her for a long time afterward while she lifted her hands up from her sides and put them over her face to cover it and then finally brought them slowly back down and held them in front of her. He stood a moment longer in front of the door, then looked quickly around at different parts of the room. He hurried to one corner for a wooden chair and brought it to the center of the room, where she was standing. Then he rushed out his door and down the hall to the bathroom. A boy at the end of the hall was standing in his doorway. “It’s all right,” Benjamin said. He went into the bathroom and filled a glass full of water, then carried it quickly back along the hall toward his room but before he could reach the door a man, his landlord, had come up the stairs and was standing in front of him.

  “Who screamed,” he said.