The Graduate Page 15
“This is Benjamin,” he said when she answered. “I’m still here.”
She didn’t say anything.
“I say I’m still here.”
“I heard you.”
Benjamin nodded.
“Do you have any plans yet?”
“No.”
For a long time it was quiet. Benjamin looked down through the glass walls of the booth at a torn piece of paper in the gutter. When he was finished looking at it he raised his head and cleared his throat. “Elaine?” he said. “What.”
“I mean what do you want me to do.” She was quiet.
“You see, I don’t know quite where I stand,” he said. “Do you want me to go or do you want me to stay.”
“Well, don’t you have a mind?” she said. “What?”
“Well, don’t you have a mind?” she said. “Of course.”
“Then why don’t you make it up.”
“Well, Elaine. I mean you said not to go until I had some plans.”
“And you don’t.”
“Well I don’t have any good ones,” he said. “I was thinking I might take a trip up through Canada but I. decided against it.”
“Well what am I supposed to do.”
“What?”
“What am I supposed to do!”
“About what.”
“About you.”
“Well you told me you’d worry unless I had something definite.”
“Do you think I can study?”
“What?”
“Do you think I can think?”
“Well, Elaine.”
“Do you think I can do anything with you on my mind twenty-four—”
“Now Elaine,” Benjamin said. “You told me you’d worry unless I had definite plans.”
It was quiet again. Finally Elaine cleared her throat. “What’s wrong with Canada,” she said. “I lost interest.”
“How about Mexico.”
“I’ve been there.”
“Hawaii?”
“No.”
“Why not.”
“I have no urge to go there.”
“Well what do you have an urge to do.”
“Nothing,” he said.
“What do you do then.”
“What?”
“If you don’t have the urge to do anything what do you do all the time. What did you do today.”
“Went to the show.”
“How was it.”
“All right,” he said. He frowned. “But I mean what do you want me to do.”
“Can’t you think?”
“I can think Elaine, but you said to stay around.”
“Then stay around.”
“But I’m having trouble making plans.”
“Benjamin,” she said. “I want you to do something, because I’m going crazy.”
“You are.”
“Yes I am.”
“Then tell me to leave,” he said. “All you have to do is tell me to leave, then I’ll leave.” She didn’t answer. “Will you do that?’”
“I’m trying to write a paper.”
“All right. But could you just tell me you want me to go, please?”
“Are you simple?” she said.
“What?”
“I mean what do I have to say to you, Benjamin.”
“Well you have to say either that you want me to go or you want me to stay.”
“Do I?”
“Well yes,” he said. “If you’re going to worry about me, then I’d better not go till I have a plan. Are you going to worry about me?”
“Benjamin,” she said. “What do you think. Do you think I even would have come to this phone if I—”
“Shall I go or shall I stay!”
“I think you are simple.”
“I’m not simple, Elaine.”
“Then can’t you—can’t you see the way I feel?”
“Well why don’t you tell me the way you feel.”
“Goodbye, Benjamin.”
Benjamin frowned. “Well, shall I go then?” he said.
“Why don’t you.”
“Why don’t I go?”
“Yes.”
“All right,” he said. “I mean that’s all you had to say.”
Elaine hung up.
Two hours later Benjamin had finished packing. He snapped the locks shut on his suitcase and set it on the floor. Then he walked down the hall to brush his teeth. When he was finished he carried his toothbrush and toothpaste back into his room and reopened his suitcase and packed them into it. Then he undressed, put on his pajamas and went to bed.
Sometime later in the night he woke up. He turned over and was just about asleep again when he heard somebody’s throat being cleared in the room. “What?” he said. He sat up in his bed but there was no answer. “Hello?” he said. Again it was quiet. He sat a long time frowning into the darkness, then suddenly the light was turned on. Elaine was standing beside the door.
He blinked. “Elaine?” he said.
She didn’t answer him but remained standing just inside the doorway with her hand on the light switch.
Benjamin sat up farther in his bed. “What’s happening,” he said.
She lowered her hand from the light switch.
“What’s happening,” Benjamin said again. He waited a while longer and when she still didn’t answer he slowly pushed the covers back and stepped down onto the floor. “What is it,” he said, walking slowly across the room toward her in his pajamas.
She shook her head.
Benjamin stopped several feet from her and leaned slightly forward. “Have you been crying?” he said.
She cleared her throat quietly but didn’t say anything.
“What’s wrong,” Benjamin said. He took another step toward her.
“Benjamin?”
“What.”
“Will you kiss me?”
He waited a moment, then took a final step toward her and raised his arms slowly up around her. He bent his head down and kissed her. For a long time neither of them moved, then Elaine put her arms around him and again neither of them moved until Benjamin lifted his head.
“Elaine?” he said, frowning over the top of her head and out into the hallway.
“What.”
“Will you marry me?”
She shook her head.
“You won’t?”
“I don’t know,” she said quietly.
“But you might?”
She nodded.
“You might, did you say?”
“I might.”
“Is that so? You might marry me?”
“What time is it.”
“Well wait a minute,” Benjamin said. Keeping one arm around her he leaned sideways and closed the door with his other hand. “What time is it.”
“Well sit down here,” Benjamin said. “Sit down here a minute and talk.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t talk?”
“I can’t stay.”
“Here,” Benjamin said. He walked to his desk for the chair and set it in the center of the room. “What time is it.”
“Sit down here, Elaine.”
“I have to go.”
“Go?”
“I have to be in by twelve.”
“In the dormitory?” She nodded.
“Well look,” Benjamin said. He glanced at his watch. “You’ve got five minutes yet. Sit down, Elaine.”
“I can’t.”
“But you might marry me, did you say?”
“I don’t know.”
“But you might?” She nodded:
“You aren’t joking me.”
“No.”
“You aren’t drunk or something.”
“No.”
“Well when.”
“What?”
“When shall we get married,” he said. “Tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know what’s happening.” He walked back to stand in front of her again
. “You don’t know what’s happening?”
“No.”
“You mean you’re confused?” She nodded.
“Well look,” he said. “Don’t be confused. We’re getting married.”
“I don’t see how we can,” she said.
“We just can.”
“I’m going back now.”
“But Elaine?”
“What.”
“I mean what’s happening.”
“I don’t know,” she said. She turned around and opened the door.
“Elaine,” he said. He took her arm. “I mean are you serious about this?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You really will?”
“Yes.”
He turned her around again and kissed her. “Well Elaine?” he said when he was through.
“What.”
“Let’s get together sometime.”
She nodded.
“Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow night,” she said. “Goodbye.” She turned around and walked out through the door, closing it behind her.
Benjamin stared at it a few moments, then turned and hurried across his room to the window and pushed it open. “Elaine?” he said.
She stopped underneath him on the sidewalk and looked up.
“You aren’t joking me now,” he said.
“No.”
“You’ll think it over by tomorrow night.”
She nodded.
Benjamin watched her walk on down the sidewalk and out of sight. Then he turned around and looked down at one of the wooden legs of the chair in the middle of the room. Finally he walked slowly over to the chair and sat down. “Good God,” he said, reaching up to pull at the lobe of one of his ears.
Chapter Seven
The telegram from Mrs. Robinson was slid under his door sometime while Benjamin was sleeping. He got up in the middle of the morning, picked it up to look at the front of it and then the back, then tore it open and read it.
UNDERSTAND FROM YOUR PARENTS YOU ARE IN BERKELEY STOP WANT YOU TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY AND PHONE ME TODAY THAT YOU HAVE STOP SERIOUS TROUBLE IF I DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU TODAY
G L ROBINSON
Benjamin read the telegram twice, once before he dressed and again after he dressed. Then he set it on his desk and hurried down the hall to wash his face and comb his hair. When he was finished he went outside onto the sidewalk and stopped the first person he saw.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Could you tell me where there’s a jewelry shop.”
During the afternoon, after he had finished his lunch, he walked back and forth in his room awhile, then packed all his clothes into his pillowcase and carried them down to the laundromat. There were no dryers available and a long line of people waiting to use them, so when he was finished he stuffed the damp laundry into the pillowcase again and carried it back to his room to dry it. He emptied it onto his bed and looked at it for a while, then he went out to dinner. When he came back he sorted it and began hanging it up to dry. It was just as he had draped the last sheet over the closet door that Elaine knocked. He walked across the room to let her in.
“Come on in,” he said. He removed a wet pair of pants from the back of the chair in the center of the room and dropped them on his bed. “Sit down,” he said.
She walked past the chair to frown at a pair of shorts hanging over the shade of a lamp beside his desk.
“Did you just wash your clothes?”
“Yes,” he said. “Now sit down.”
“Where did you wash them.”
“Elaine, I washed them at the laundromat. Now sit down in the chair, please.”
Elaine seated herself. “Don’t they have dryers down there?” she said.
Benjamin pulled up a chair beside her and sat down on it without bothering to remove a shirt drying on its back. “Here’s the ring,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a plain gold ring. “See if it fits,” he said.
Elaine took it from him. “It’s too big,” she said.
“Could you try it on please?”
She put it around her finger.
“How is it.”
“Too big.”
“Let’s see,” he said. He took her hand and turned the ring several times around her finger. “It is,” he said.
“Here,” Elaine said. She removed it and slid it over her thumb. “Perfect,” she said, holding it up.
“Give it to me.”
She took it off her thumb and handed it back to him. “I’ll get a smaller one,” he said, returning it to his pocket. “But do you like the style.”
“What?”
“Do you like the style,” he said. “The color. The width and so forth.”
She nodded.
“Good,” he said. “I’ll get a size or two smaller.”
“But Benjamin?”
“What.”
“I haven’t even said I’ll marry you yet.”
“I know that,” he said. “But I think you will.”
“You do.”
“I mean I just feel like it’s kind of an inevitable thing now,” he said.
“I don’t,” she said.
He frowned at her.
“Benjamin?” she said. “I’ve been thinking about it.”
“And?”
“And I don’t think it would work out.”
“Elaine, it would!” he said.
She shook her head.
“Why wouldn’t it.”
She stood from the chair and walked to the bureau to look at a sweater drying on top of it. “Did you. put this sweater in the washing machine?”
“Why wouldn’t it work.”
She picked up one of the sleeves of the sweater and held it up close to her eyes to inspect it. “It’s ruined,” she said.
Benjamin stood. “Goddammit Elaine, why wouldn’t it work,” he said.
“It just wouldn’t.”
“Well Elaine?”
“What.”
“I mean you just kind of came walking in here last night. I was all ready to go and then you came walking in. Why did you do that.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I was just passing by.”
“But Elaine?”
She put the sleeve of the sweater back down on the top of the bureau and smoothed it.
“I sort of assumed you were fond of me,” Benjamin said. “After last night.”
Elaine didn’t answer him.
“Are you fond of me?”
“I am,” she said.
“All right then,” Benjamin said. “We’re fond of each other. So let’s get married.”
“Can you imagine my parents?” she said, turning about to face him.
“Your parents?”
“Can you imagine how they might feel?”
“You mean your mother.”
“No,” she said. “My father.”
“That man—” Benjamin said, pointing toward the wall. “Elaine, that man would be the happiest guy in the world if we got married.”
She frowned at him.
“Elaine,” he said, “he bends over backward to get us together. One time he told me I was like a son to him.”
“And what if he finds out what happened.”
“He won’t.”
“But what if he does.”
“Well so what,” Benjamin said. “I’ll apologize to him. I’ll say it was a stupid foolish thing to do and he’ll say he’s a little disappointed in me but he can understand it and that’s that.”
“You’re naïve,” Elaine said. She walked back across the room and seated herself again in the chair.
“Look,” Benjamin said. “Forget about the parents.” He sat down beside her. “Do you have any other objections.”
“I do.”
“Well what are they.”
“You’re not ready to be married,” she said.
“Why not.”
“You just aren’t,” she said. “You’re too young.”
“Come on.”
“Benjamin, you should do other things first,” she said. “Before you tie yourself down to being married you should do other things.”
“Like what.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Yesterday you were talking about traveling.”
“I don’t want to go to Canada.”
“Well not Canada,” she said. “Other places.”
“What other places.”
“Around the world,” she said. “Africa. Asia. Some of those continents.”
“I have no urge to see those continents.”
“But wouldn’t it be exciting?” she said. “To see all the different lands and the different peoples and so forth?”
Benjamin shook his head. “This is nutty,” he said. “What brought this up.”
“Don’t you want to do it?”
“Hell no.”
“But why not.”
“Because I don’t,” he said. “But I’d like to know where you came up with this.”
“Well I just think you’re wasting your time sitting around in this room,” she said. “Or sitting around in a room with me if we got married.”
“All right,” he said. “Now I don’t know what brought this up but I have no intention of hopping around the world ogling natives and peasants or whatever you had in mind. So are you going to marry me or not.”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Well let’s have some more objections.”
“I don’t have any more.”
“Then let’s get married.”
She looked down at one of her knees and didn’t answer. Benjamin took her hand. “Look,” he said. “I figured out how we’ll do it. First we’ll—could you listen to me, Elaine?” She nodded.
“All right,” he said. “Now we’re going down in the morning and get the blood tests.”
“Benjamin, I haven’t—”
“Will you just listen a minute?” She nodded.
“Now. We’ll get the blood tests in the morning. Then we’ll get the birth certificates. I happen to have mine with me. Where’s yours.”
“At home.”
“Where at home.”
“In a drawer.”
“Which drawer.”
“What?”
“Will you just tell me in which drawer, please?”
“In the den.”
“All right,” Benjamin said. “Now I’m flying down there tomorrow night.”
“You’re what?” she said, looking up at him. “To get it.”